Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Johnny Salami is now posting at CNN iReport:

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

More "Experts"

This time it was about a panel of experts blowing hot gas about who should be VP.

Here we go again: highly paid experts telling us what we think. Has anyone ever noticed they're wrong more often than the psychics in the National Enquirer? Shouldn't they take a cut in pay every time they goof? If a customer skips on a bill, the waitress pays. Fair is fair.

And look at the soup we're in. We got there listening to experts and following politicians who made a big thing out of their "decency."

It's way past time to put slobs in charge for a while. We may not be better off as a society, but at least we won't have to kow-tow to religion. This "no strip joints within 1,000 feet of a church" thing is not only for the birds, it's very inconvenient.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Johnny Salami for President

An on-line publication - can it BE a publication if it's not on paper? - had a story about the "scandal" involving Barak Obama and his alleged smoking. Apparently he's had trouble quitting. I couldn't help myself. I had to reply, and pronto. Here's the text of my statesman-like remarks:

What a steamin' pile of horse dookey. I started smoking at 9, stealing the Old Man's Chesterfields (non-filter) and thinking I looked cool. In my case, it was true. But the fact that a guy had problems quitting is a mark against him? Get the fuck out.

I quit after 22 years without any problems, and I have 6 ex-wives, a lifelong affinity for marijuana, haven't been to church in 45 years and am on a first-name basis with literally dozens of strippers. In short, I am a vile man. But I quit smokin' and never looked back!

So vote for me. My platform is simple: a whorehouse on every corner and two in the middle of the block. At least that's one way to stop these murderous shooting sprees at college.